Thats what friends are for

Well its been a mixed bag of a week, little man started off being poorly but thankfully is now back to his usual monkey self so thats a relief. He could of gone back to school on thursday but i kept him home to give him time to get his strength back. Well thats my excuse and im sticking to it!!!!!

I have had a very funny week this week, and have felt quite down, not for any reason because i certainly dont have a reason to be down, infact im one of the 'lucky' ones. I just seem to have lost all motivation to do anything, i could quite cheerfully just stay in bed all day (ok ok i know nothing new there hey lol) the housework is doing my head in, its the same old same old thats got to me i think! I need to find some more focus to my life. I think ive finally got my head around little man going to school all day and have finally accepted that he is looked after quite well there ( i will never admit they do as good a job as me though lol), so now my last baby is off at school and i have a lot of time on my hands, what do i do now????

I feel a bit empty if im honest and know i need to find some direction but havent a clue what that should be. I am frustrated because my health stops me from doing things that would break the day up, ie join the gym or something like that. I am fed up because the weight seems to be piling on and i cant do much about it (well apart from give up the sweets and crisp lol) I spend far too much time on the pc which isnt really what i want to be doing, and then i worry that im bugging people too much in my quest for something to do to feel better about myself. I could go on for ages but im not going to because i am annoying myself now, i hate feeling negative, i am by my nature a person who always looks for the positives in most situations and too feel this down is a feeling i dont like and i will somehow claw my way out of it. I have some great friends who have kicked my butt this week and for that i am truely grateful, without them i know i wouldnt cope as well with the wonderful world that we were plunged into. I am really annoyed with myself when i look around me and see people who have the right to feel like this but wont allow themselves. So any suggestions of time fillers will be gratefully appreciated lol.

I have made a start ive accepted 2 invitations for nights out with some lovely heart mummies and have decided i need to take some me time now and again, and my family wont fall apart if i go away for a night and leave them to get on with it. So beware my lovely friends you may find me inviting myself along to lots more nights out lol.

This post is dedicated to James, Katie and Zoe and all the other heart angels that have gone too soon xx